My faith journey began when I was a six-year-old girl. I had undergone a simple tonsillectomy, a common childhood procedure. But during recovery, my stitches came loose, and I woke up in a pool of blood at my grandparents’ home. They rushed me back to the hospital for emergency surgery and a transfusion.
When their pastor came to visit, I told him, “The Lord saved my life, and you should baptize me.” Reverend Winters waited until I was ten, and then he did just that. Looking back, I realize that even then, God was planting seeds of faith in a little girl who didn’t yet know what “unfinished faith” meant.
“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 (NIV)
As a teenager, I loved writing poetry and journaling, but it was during high school that I sensed God’s call to teach. My swim coach, Mr. McKinney, invited me to volunteer in his special education classroom. As I planned and taught my first lesson, I felt a deep joy — the kind that only comes when you’re walking in your calling. During my senior year, I served as the editor of the school newspaper, blending my love for writing with my growing faith.
After college, I returned to Florida to teach first and second grade at our church school. Around that time, God answered another prayer — leading me to my husband, Dave. Before we even dated, I told my mother that I knew who I would marry. Dave was a quiet, intelligent Nazarene pastor’s son, patient, steadfast, and strong in faith. God didn’t give me everything I wanted in a husband; He gave me everything I needed.
Within two years, we welcomed our first daughter, Julie, after a difficult pregnancy and long bed rest. But when complications prevented me from carrying future pregnancies to term, God opened another door through adoption. We brought home our son, Joshua, just days after his premature birth, another “But God” moment of His perfect provision.
Dave was an extraordinary husband and father, faithful to the Lord, his family, and the vows he made. He supported my dreams, even attending a national education conference with me one week before he passed away. After years of encouragement and sacrifice, he finally saw the fruit of my doctoral work and told me how proud he was. I believe God allowed that moment as a final affirmation of our shared faith journey.
That same week, Dave began feeling unwell. What seemed like fatigue quickly became an emergency. He was diagnosed with colon cancer on Monday and passed away that Friday, just five days later. I was in the ICU as the doctors worked to save him. Watching the man, I loved slip into eternity was the most painful moment of my life.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
In the days that followed, I moved through shock and sorrow, helping my children say goodbye to their father. We held the funeral at our church, and I remember requesting two songs: It Is Well with My Soul and I Can Only Imagine. When the casket closed, my son began to cry uncontrollably. His grief broke mine wide open. That moment, watching him wail for his father, is forever etched in my heart.
Grief clouds memory. Much of that time is a blur, but I remember my birthday arriving one week later. I couldn’t celebrate. My body shut down from emotional exhaustion. Yet even in that darkness, I could sense God’s quiet presence, carrying me.
In the months that followed, I made difficult decisions. After the first year, I sold our home in Florida, moved to Indiana, and adjusting to life as a single mother. My daughter found solace in ballroom dance; my son wrestled with anxiety and identity. When he asked to return to Florida to live with a friend’s family, I reluctantly agreed. Looking back, I realize that letting go was an act of faith, trusting that God could parent him in ways I could not.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:5 (NIV)
Over time, God surrounded me with a community of young widows and new opportunities to write again. I attended a Christian writers’ conference that inspired my first devotional, Trading My Sorrows for the Joy of the Lord, where other widows shared stories of healing and hope. The first photo is my first book signing at Book Loft. The second photo is visiting with my coauthor Vicki Rudicel, 7 years later. Vicki founded the Young Widows Fellowship where other widows would meet for a monthly lunch to trade our stories of our husbands deaths but also about out lives.
Later, God called me back into the classroom, this time teaching fifth grade. When my mother needed care, I moved to Colorado to be with her. That season became one of quiet rebuilding: a time to listen, rest, and rediscover joy. I even began preparing for a TEDx talk about how ballroom dancing helped me process grief. Though the talk wasn’t accepted, it sparked a new vision: to write for children about grief and hope.
Four and a half years later, God fulfilled that vision through Joy Overcame Sorrow and its companion Joy’s Journal (released in June 2025). Since then, I’ve shared my story on over twenty podcasts, helping caregivers and children navigate loss with faith and compassion. All my books are available on Amazon.
Now, looking back, I see how God redeemed every unfinished chapter. From childhood survival to widowhood, from teaching to writing, from sorrow to joy — He has been writing His story through mine. My faith is still unfinished, but I know the Author is faithful. Now, I am caregiving for my Mom in Colorado, and we are having a lot of adventures together.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NIV)
My journey is proof that even in grief, God is not finished. He is still writing, still healing, and still faithful. “Love is the footbridge to both Sorrow and Joy.”
“I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me and the hymn “It is Well with My Soul.”
I conducted a scripture study on the widow and the fatherless and discovered 16 scriptures that told me the Lord would provide and protect the widow and her children. I love the scripture that says He will keep the widows borders intact. Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Sometimes when loss occurs, you need to find a new social group that you can relate to, such as a Young Widows Fellowship where we meet for lunch once a month and traded our stories and sorrows. I also met other widows and widowers on the ballroom dance floor.
Please do not ask a grieving person to tell you what they need. We often have no clue what we need, which gets the asker off the hook but does little to support those who are grieving. Picking something you know might be helpful and just do it. Ask them for a coffee chat in a month or two down the road to check in to see what they may need.
He has given me the knowledge that He is my redeemer. He can redeem every pain, every mess, and loss when we give it to God.