I was placed in foster care at five months old. I don’t remember the beginning, but I remember the homes. Chaotic. Overcrowded. One home was so full that my sister and I ate on the floor while the dog ate from our bowls. I experienced mistreatment in multiple placements. These were not circumstances of my choosing they were the reality of a child welfare system that often fails the very children it is designed to protect.
At age six I was adopted by a woman who is the same race as me and who chose me and my older sister when most people wouldn’t have. I had an open adoption and knew my birth family, though I did not grow up in the same state as them. Having access to both worlds did not make the questions easier. If anything it made them more complicated. Who am I? Where do I truly belong? Why did this happen to me?
Growing up I carried those questions quietly. I hid pieces of my story because they felt too heavy, too complicated, too much. I spent years longing for what felt like a normal life — one where people didn’t ask uncomfortable questions, one where I didn’t have to explain myself. I was embarrassed by my own story. And then I felt guilty for being embarrassed. It was an exhausting cycle that followed me from childhood into adulthood.
Even after adoption, the grief didn’t disappear. There were seasons where I felt completely alone. Seasons where I questioned whether I mattered, whether I belonged anywhere, whether God had forgotten me.
College changed everything. It was there that I gave my life to Christ and that decision changed the entire trajectory of my life. For the first time I had a Father who would never leave me. A Father who had known me before I was placed in foster care, before I was adopted, before I had words for any of it. Psalm 139 became my anchor the reminder that I was seen, known, and not an accident, even when my beginning was chaotic.
That faith opened doors I never imagined. I went on to earn a doctorate in Education, become a university professor teaching criminal justice, human rights, and international relations, and spend nearly 20 years doing humanitarian work across approximately 30 countries including research on orphan care in Rwanda. In every season the Lord placed someone in my life to guide me, challenge me, and point me back to Him.
In July 2026 I released my third book, Bridging Resilience: A Guide to Healing for Adoptees and Former Foster Youth, Families, and the Leaders Who Walk with Them, published by B&H Publishing Group. I did not write this book as a success story. I wrote it because I am still healing and I wanted every adoptee and former foster youth to know that healing is possible, that they are not alone, and that God has not forgotten them either.
His grace has met me in every hard place. Not around the suffering, but right in the middle of it. And that is the story I want to spend the rest of my life telling.
Hope and Helps:
What hymns or songs comforted you in your journey?
“It Is Well With My Soul.” Most people don’t know the history behind this hymn. Horatio Spafford wrote it after losing his four daughters in a shipwreck. He lost almost everything and was still able to say it is well with my soul. When I learned that story it hit me hard. If this man could lose his entire family and keep going, I can keep going too.
“Good Good Father” by Chris Tomlin. I grew up without a consistent father figure so the truth that God is a good Father who has never left me has been really healing for me.
“Imagine Me” by Kirk Franklin. This song is about imagining a version of yourself free from your past and free from what was done to you. That one is for every adoptee and foster youth who has ever wondered if healing is really possible.
What Scriptures have you clung to in hard seasons?
Proverbs 3:5-6 has been my anchor. Constantly trusting and relying on the Lord is everything to me, even right now. Life is constantly changing, but this verse reminds me that I don’t have to figure it all out. I just have to trust Him.
What are ways that people have blessed you or ministered to you from your childhood forward?
The Lord has always placed somebody in my life at just the right time. Whether it was a new job, a new situation, or a conflict I didn’t know how to walk through, He always placed someone there. And every single one of them pointed me back to Christ.
What are things people should not say or do to other people who have come from the foster care system?
Don’t assume we should be over our past and our pain. Don’t assume we are troubled or delinquent or that we need someone to save us. We are strong and resilient. We will get through life. We are not a statistic.
What hope has Jesus given you?
Jesus is my Savior, and He is the Father I have always wanted, one who provides, protects, and values me. Honestly, no one in life has fully been able to do that besides Him. I am fully known by Him. I forget this sometimes. I have hope because of who HE is.
How has the ministry of Hope in the Mourning encouraged you?
I recently came across Hope in the Mourning through an interview with Julie Busler, and I am so glad I did. What drew me in is the heart behind what you all do. Creating space for people to find hope in the middle of their grief and loss. As someone who has carried grief most of my life, that kind of ministry matters deeply to me. I am looking forward to being part of this community.