Even If — Lauren White
When I was a little girl my biggest fear was having children because of the amount of physical pain it can cause. I was always afraid of pain and needles and pretty much anything that was medical related. Fast forward to 2016, a year after my husband Solomon and I got married, I started to desire having a baby. When we were dating we always dreamed about what life would be like when we were married and how many kids we’d have. Needless to say my fear turned into desire. But I still to this day fear needles and physical pain and pretty much anything medical. February 2016 we found out our family was growing. Our first child. My pregnancy with him was perfect. We announced the pregnancy the day after taking a pregnancy test. The pregnancy was great. I was afraid of course because I had no idea what to expect but we were so excited for our first baby. I had a scheduled induction that ended up failing and our son Nolan was born perfectly healthy through c-section in November 2016. A year later we wanted to start trying again. In October 2017 I found out I was pregnant again but unfortunately lost that pregnancy to a chemical pregnancy the very next day. I was devastated. Two months later, December 2017 we found out again that I was pregnant. This time with a healthy beautiful baby girl. I tried for a VBAC but my body did not cooperate and Audrey was born perfectly healthy through c-section in August 2018. Yet about another year later, we wanted to try again. In early July of 2019 I was pregnant again. This time, I again started bleeding pretty soon after testing. We decided to continue trying and we found out again in
